Friday, 6 February 2009

No Brainers

Speaking of intelligence sharing, can someone send some Ed Balls' way? Our 'let's take it all apart and put it back together in the manner of lego or a laboratory experiment' Education (hah!) minister has floated the idea that, er, sixteen year olds should, um, be hired to teach fourteen year olds in school. ('Ums' and 'ers' inserted whilst I roll around shrieking with laughter.) Laudably, critics of the scheme refrained from calling Balls an insufferable little tit and instead suggested that it might not be the best idea, in a nation which suffers from a serious discipline problem, to introduce child teachers in schools. Not until they've got an adequate supply of full body armour and Mace, that is.

Brown's getting shafted from all sides at present: Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brown as a one-eyed pillock (troglodyte would have been better, surely? Well, caused less offence to the RNIB, at least. But would anyone understand the classical reference?), Sarkozy's blaming him for ruining the world economy, and Blair oiled into Washington before he did. -Note the picture of Michelle Obama, clamped firmly in the former UK President's grasp, as his grisly lips narrow in on her firmly-clenched jaw; the lady must have a lot of steel to be able to withstand such an onslaught. 
Perhaps he should go and work for the BBC? It must be the only place left that resolutely pushes the party line and defends the likes of the histrionic Christian Bale in full Dolls House-smashing mode and the utterly obnoxious grandfather-baiting Jonathan Ross, whilst kicking out Carol Thatcher for a cultural gaffe made in a Green Room.

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Life is to be lived, not controlled, and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat -Ralph Ellison